Things I've seen Queen fans complain about since 1998

When the first Bohemian Rhapsody trailer dropped and there was all that mess about Freddie getting straightwashed, etc., it made me think about some stuff I've seen other fans complain about since I first started using the internet, and then I realized that that was about 20 years ago. So I've compiled a list of things - in no specific order because I've never kept strict logs - I've seen Queen fans complain (read: throw a massive tantrum) about since 1998 (most of the older examples are from the Queenzone forums, but also the OIQFC chatroom back in the day) (I swear on my Brian May-autographed copy of his book Diableries that I'm not making any of these up):

- Roger grew a goatee

- Roger shaved off his goatee

- Brian, Roger, and John didn’t want to do anything for a while under the Queen name without Freddie

- Someone suggested it might be cool if Brian, Roger, and John would occasionally tour as Queen, with Brian and Roger taking turns on lead vocals (1998-2000+)

- Someone suggested it might be cool if Brian, Roger, and John would occasionally tour as Queen with a varying lineup of different singers from the tribute concert (1998-2001+)

- Freddie, Brian, and Roger’s solo stuff doesn’t sound enough like Queen

- Brian and Roger would play too many Queen songs at their respective solo shows

- They didn’t sound exactly like previous Queen shows

- Brian and Roger wouldn’t play enough Queen songs at their respective solo shows

- John retired

- Someone said it would be cool if John would come out of retirement

- Manager Jim Beach did his job as band manager and executor of Freddie’s will and should be flensed

- Archivist Greg Brooks did ??? and should be flensed (I honestly have no idea what he did for some Queen fans to wish him dead. Please inform)

- Someone said they didn’t like a Queen song

- Someone said they loved every single Queen song

- Brian and Roger sang lead on some of their songs on the albums, which was apparently unfair to Freddie as HE was the lead vocalist

- Someone expressed an opinion on the Hot Space album

- Someone expressed an opinion on the Jazz album

- Some people said that Bohemian Rhapsody was their favorite song

- Some people said that Bohemian Rhapsody wasn’t their favorite song

- Someone tried to start a discussion on Bohemian Rhapsody’s possible meaning

- Someone tried to speculate who actually wrote which songs on The Miracle and Innuendo before Brian and Roger would eventually casually disclose in interviews, which was apparently grossly disrespectful of their song crediting decisions

- Freddie didn’t hang in there long enough to see advancements in AIDS treatment that would have probably kept him alive up to today, therefore depriving us all of more of his music, which was super inconsiderate of him

- Jim Hutton wrote a book about his life with Freddie and it made him some money

- Peter “Phoebe” Freestone wrote a book about his life with, and another about his life after Freddie and both made him some money

- Mary Austin hasn’t written a book about her life with Freddie

- Mary Austin inherited Freddie’s estate and surely must have been meticulously planning for that since 1970

- Brian and Roger eventually started working under the Queen name again supposedly without considering John’s feelings on the matter

- John had given them his blessing to move forward without him

- Queen have collaborated with musicians that are popular with people under the age of 30 on different occasions throughout the years (although I still agree that 5ive and Robbie Williams were not musically good choices)

- Someone had feelings that were higher than lukewarm about the 1992 version of Greatest Hits

- Someone suggested that members of Queen fucked around with some drugs here and there (just because they didn’t go the “Motley Crue” route doesn’t mean…)

- Newer bands and artists don’t sound anything like Queen (If I had a fucking nickel for every time I’ve heard this…)

- Newer bands and artists who sound a bit like Queen, which is why some Queen fans even noticed them to begin with, cited Queen as a major influence, so that makes them talentless, overrated hacks who are just trying to imitate Queen, and should be flensed

- A famous musician said they didn’t like Queen, or that Queen was just okay, so that makes them a talentless, overrated hack who should be flensed

- A currently popular band covered a Queen song (if it’s even a little bit different, it’s “ruined,” and if it’s close to the original, “it’s too boring”, or they’re “trying to sound exactly like Queen and how dare anyone ever try?”)

- Some people under the age of 18 are only interested in current pop music, and so they should be flensed (I totally used to be in that camp when I was a kid, but then I grew up and got over myself)

- The tribute concert hasn’t been released in its entirety (I understand why it hasn’t, but I do agree that it’s frustrating)

- Queen haven’t released an album with all new material since Made In Heaven or the 1997 track “No-one But You”

- Queen released an album with all new material in 2008

- It didn’t sound exactly the same as any of the albums with Freddie, even though no Queen album sounds exactly the same anyway (It has some good gems in there, though)

- Queen haven’t released more previously unreleased material

- Queen were only able to release more previously unreleased material if it was part of a compilation album because their label wouldn’t let them just release an EP, and people bought it

- Some people buy literally anything Queen puts out there

- Some people don’t buy literally everything Queen puts out there

- Brian stopped dyeing his hair

- Freddie has become recognized as a queer pop culture icon

- Someone did a Queen cover and posted it on Youtube

- Someone whose first language is not English did a Queen cover and posted it on Youtube

- Someone assigned female at birth and presents as femme did a Queen cover and posted it on Youtube

- Someone who was born past a time that they could have theoretically seen Queen in 1986 or earlier expressed a desire to see Queen’s current lineup in concert

- Someone who actually saw Queen in 1986 or earlier expressed a desire to see Queen’s current lineup in concert

- Stories and TV specials about Freddie focus and speculate too much on his personal life and final days because SOME people have the nerve to want to learn who Freddie was as a person

- Stories and TV specials about Freddie don’t have enough factual information about his personal life and final days because “it would just be really great to learn about the man behind all that great music, you know?”

- People taking a minute to be sad about Freddie’s death any time that’s not November 24th are somehow disrespecting Queen’s music (I still don’t understand this logic 20 years on. Please inform)

- The anniversary of Freddie’s death isn’t an internationally observed bereavement holiday giving license to miss work or school for the day

- The We Will Rock You Musical exists and some people like it

- Someone bought Freddie’s NYC apartment and didn’t turn it into a shrine for Freddie

- A tribute band is more focused on sounding like Queen than looking like Queen and should be flensed

- A tribute band is trying to look and/or sound like Queen but falls a bit short because of whatever constraints that are well outside of their control and should be flensed

- A tribute band sounds very shockingly close to Queen and has near-perfect costumes and mannerisms, but isn’t actually Queen, and should be taken down a peg or whatever via flensing

- Mary Austin has had to do stuff to prevent fans from writing on the exterior Garden Lodge wall because it was veering constantly into the territory of public property damage, and it was an ongoing hassle for her and city officials, but she set it up so that fans can still leave Freddie notes on pieces of paper that she’ll collect every so often, and the city will not be inconvenienced or polluted, so fans can still do SOMETHING to pay their respects, and that makes her an asshole who never actually gave a shit about Freddie at all

- Some people voted for someone other than Freddie in a Best Live Entertainer/Singer poll that was made just for fun

- A Queen fan said that their *most* favorite band was not Queen

- Queen worked with Paul Rodgers and some people liked it*

- People said it was awesome how much Marc Martel sounds like Freddie

- Roger agreed with them

- Queen are currently working with Adam Lambert and some people like it

- They made a biopic about Ray Charles, but not about Queen and Freddie (2004) (I too was a bit miffed because it didn’t seem like such a thing would ever happen)

- There were rumors about a planned biopic, and that an actor would be cast as Freddie (just the idea of literally anyone playing Freddie had some people foaming at the mouth)

- There’s now a biopic about Queen and Freddie

- An actor was cast as Freddie (it wouldn’t matter if it was Rami or literally anyone else, there are still people who are determined to foam at the mouth about it)

- The film and trailer acknowledge that Freddie and Mary Austin were involved in the 70’s, and that objective fact somehow counts as straight-washing

- The film not getting up to 1991 clearly means that the script is pretending that AIDS wasn’t a thing at all and that Freddie didn’t die from it, despite what the synopsis says, and confirmation from the cast in interviews

- Brian told Rami Malek that Freddie would be very proud of him for his portrayal

--

What a wild ride it's been!

*One person on the Queenzone forums suggested that all "true" fans go out and buy Queen + Paul Rodgers tickets, and then burn them in a huge bonfire to "send Brian and Roger a message."

Queen + Adam Lambert, Boston 2017

There are no words that can convey the joy and thrill of seeing Queen and Adam Lambert AGAIN!

My friend George (hi, George!) was originally planning to come with me, but that couldn't pan out, so my friend Allison and I sat together instead. But George and a few of my other friends were definitely there with me in spirit!

I bought two tickets back in February and was fairly certain that me and George would have been at the very last row of our section (Section B), but fate decided to smile upon me again and... well, this was how close me and Allison were to the end of the catwalk!

I had an amazing time seeing them back in 2014, and I really enjoy the pictures I took, but I felt like I had focused too much on getting pictures and not just enjoying the show. So I vowed to do that this time! I took some shots with my cell phone, and they're blurry, but I like them!

One of my favorite parts of the show was Adam calling out the Bastard Queen Fans who like to be pissy because "Adam's not Freddie Mercury." His eloquent response to that was, "Yeah, no shit!" I personally ran into two of those folks before the show. One of them was behind me and Allison at the concert, and he saw my phone's wallpaper (Wembley Freddie) and said, "That's the real singer! Adam's not the real singer!" At some point Allison and I had to turn to correct him when he told the people he was with(?) that John Deacon had died. I was super worried this guy was going to be a repeat of the fucker from 2014 who kept spouting incorrect trivia and talking through "Love Of My Life".

Thankfully, he was very easy to ignore during the show!

To help myself prepare for maximum fun for the concert, I avoided reading setlists, only stuck to reading review headlines (all of which are overwhelmingly positive), and didn't listen to any Queen for a little over a week. I was torn about whether to listen to Adam's new single, "Two Fux", because I didn't know if I wanted to be able to sing along or not. I chose to not listen beforehand in case I'd fall into a tour news rabbit hole. It's a fun track! Give it a listen if you haven't yet!

When Brian made his way to the end of the catwalk and was handed his acoustic, I was able to move a bit closer. I had been waiting for so long to feel that connection between Brian and fans during "Love Of My Life" AND I FINALLY GOT IT! I was finally right in it! And while he wasn't looking my way, I didn't feel any separation from the experience! In between verses, he noticed some folks had their phone lights on, so jokingly asked, "Did some of you bring your mobiles?" and the next thing I knew, fucking EVERYONE'S phones lit up! It's not the same as using a lighter, but it's a different kind of beautiful.

Brian didn't bring out his selfie stick in 2014, and I had thought that was indication that he wasn't having a good time at that show. But when he addressed us this time he spoke with such warmth and sincerity, that I probably worried for nothing. I can't wait for him to post the picture!

I didn't get a super great look at Roger last time, so I made sure to get plenty of shots this time! It was so great getting to actually see him!

The whole show was amazing! I'm so glad I got to go and share it with people!

Marc Martel's cover of Don't Stop Me Now

I'm annoyingly picky about Queen covers, so it's always really fun for me when I genuinely enjoy one! And as the screenshot above indicates, I enjoy calling out Bastard Queen Fans as well!

Freddie Mercury Album review - with a bonus public shaming

Those of you who read this may recall this post about a... really interesting Amazon review of The Freddie Mercury Album. I've decided to break it down further because - well, it's such a golden opportunity!

If you're a Queen fan and you'd like to sample some of Freddy's solo work, then this might be a good buy. But if you're a true Freddy fan, then you'll be appalled at how they butchered his compositions in the re-mixing room.

I'm not going to attack this person's personal tastes just because they didn't like the album. That part's irrelevant. But as I all-too-often have to point out, they're claiming to be a "true" Freddie fan while misspelling his name. And once you fuck that up, you're in no position to judge musical arrangements on anything attached to Queen or Freddie. And you know what? A lot of people think they know what constitutes a "true" fan, but they don't. Neither do I, neither do you. Like many identities and communities in life, there is no One Right Way, and the sooner we collectively get that through our heads, the sooner we can all sleep better at night.

As far as how some of the songs on this album are arranged, I don't think they're that bad. The only one I don't like is for Time, and that's because the music doesn't make sense up against Freddie's vocals in some places, and the overall arrangement sounds boring.

--

In a weak attempt to bridge the gap between Queen's heavy rock sound and Freddy's gay style (I say "gay" meaning "happy"), the mixing engineers have slaughtered these pieces.

There was zero attempt to bridge the gap between Queen's catalog and Freddie's - the Made In Heaven album being an exception. And let's be real - Mr Bad Guy was intended to sound like something you'd hear in a gay club in the 80's, so it's more than a little insulting that they're qualifying their use of "gay" up there. It's okay to say it had a gay sound because IT DID, and this person clearly cannot see that that was a conscious decision. Also, if early 1990s dance remixes don't scream, "gay" to this person, I cannot help them. They are beyond help.

--

If I want to hear something heavy, I'll pop in "Night at the Opera". I don't need some presumptuous mixing engineer adding heavy reverb on the drums, stupid house-techno beats and distorted guitars.

... So go pop in A Night At The Opera, then..? Since you clearly want Queen's sound and not remixes of Freddie's solo stuff? And that's not the correct use for "presumptuous".

*ETA: Also, comparing any of the band's solo projects to any of their Queen albums is like comparing apples and bobsleds. Queen's music and albums are successful in being variant while also still having an overall signature sound (as in, you know damn well it's a Queen album even though it doesn't sound precisely like every other Queen album), and it's presumptuous to think that the sound Queen went for in 1975 should be expected - even on a subconscious level - to show up in a dance-oriented solo album in 1985, let alone a 1992 remix of a track from 1985. Seriously, what the hell is this person's problem??!!*

--

The worst is the absolute murder of the song "Mr. Bad Guy", originally a fully orchestrated piece, now reduced to some stupid "star search" sounding tripe with a whiny guitar soloing overtop everything. ... What's next? Will some video engineer edit out all of Freddy's flamboyant concert outfits and digitally superimpose a bunch of tattoos and body piercing?

Yes. That's exactly what they'll do. The Mr Bad Guy remix forever changed the sound and influence of death metal. It won several awards and is widely considered among metal enthusiasts to be the be all-end all of heavy metal. Every release of every Queen and Freddie album since 1992 has Freddie on the cover rocking a mohawk and enough facial piercings and tattoos to make him virtually unrecognizable. This is sarcasm. Because I get sarcastic when people are being stupid on the internet.

--

C'mon Atlantic (or whatever label was responsible for this travesty), give us some credit. Give FREDDY some credit. He liked it the way it was, and WE liked it the way it was.

Actually, from what I've seen in The Great Pretender documentary, Freddie wasn't as invested in Mr Bad Guy as, say, Barcelona or any Queen album. He never expected it to be a massive commercial success, and when it wasn't, he pretty much just shrugged his shoulders and went on to the next project. Also, this person should remember that they're only speaking for themselves and not anyone else. I don't doubt there are others who share this person's views, but this person doesn't represent the entire Freddie fan base, and as a Freddie fan, I'm tempted to find them and follow them around with a sign, "I'm not with them"...

--

Now pardon me whilst I throw this rubbish in the can, put on my leotard and listen to "Mr. Bad Guy" the way the artist intended it. Heavy on the gay. Party on.

Again, I cannot help this person with their inability to understand the evolution of gay club music since 1985 and how some of these remixes fall into that category. It's okay to not like this album, but it's really not okay to say that the dance remixes aren't gay when, honey, they are. Super gay.

Queen + Adam Lambert in Boston

YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DID THAT REALLY FOR SERIOUS REALLY HAPPEN????????????

Bonus cell phone picture:

YES IT MOST DEFINITELY DID HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also! To the guy behind me who insisted on spouting (wrong) trivia to his concertmate during Love Of My Life: Fuck you. You ruined for me what was supposed to be a beautiful moment. Seriously, Fuck. You. I think I may literally hate you, and I am not at all exaggerating. I'm proud of me for restraining myself enough to simply say, "Shut up! I'm trying to hear!" WHO THE FUCK TALKS DURING LOVE OF MY LIFE??!!

(ETA - I have difficulties with audio processing. The guy was loud enough that I couldn't ignore him, and I literally could not hear Brian at all until that jackass shut up)

And a fun bonus conversation between me and a Freddie purist:

Him: We All know u saw Queen with Adam lamturd

Me: No, sweetie. It's spelled "Lambert", and he did a fucking good job. If you don't want to know that, then cool, but there's no need to rain on other people's parades. I know you're only 19, but grow the fuck up.

Him: Don't fucking call me sweetie where men [Audrey thinks he might have meant to say "we're"] ... U hear me ... Besides take s joke

Here's why that shit's not funny: First, it's immature as all fuck. Second, claiming to be joking in an effort to backpeddle and cover one's ass doesn't erase the fact that what was said was not a joke. Freddie purists are relentlessly aggressive toward anyone who sings Queen and isn't Freddie. "Hostile" and "joking" are not synonymous.

This is why they're right when other countries say that the USA is stupid

I ordered a copy of The Freddie Mercury Album and the Wembley Roadie Cube box set. I'm very excited to add these to my collection - especially The Freddie Mercury Album because I've wanted it since I was in grade 6 (age 12). And I came across an Amazon review that blew my mind. Everything that's wrong with it can be summed up in the title, but I'll post the whole thing anyway. The title is, " Sacrilege. Not for true Freddy fans." ... Can you see where this is headed?

(I removed the user's info, but I will say they are from the US.)

If you're a Queen fan and you'd like to sample some of Freddy's solo work, then this might be a good buy. But if you're a true Freddy fan, then you'll be appalled at how they butchered his compositions in the re-mixing room.

In a weak attempt to bridge the gap between Queen's heavy rock sound and Freddy's gay style (I say "gay" meaning "happy"), the mixing engineers have slaughtered these pieces. The original versions, as released in Freddy's "Mr. Bad Guy", were just fine the way they were. Sure, some sounded like they could be the background to the Richard Simmons Workout Challenge, but true Freddy fans like it that way. *I* like it that way. If I want to hear something heavy, I'll pop in "Night at the Opera". I don't need some presumptuous mixing engineer adding heavy reverb on the drums, stupid house-techno beats and distorted guitars.

The worst is the absolute murder of the song "Mr. Bad Guy", originally a fully orchestrated piece, now reduced to some stupid "star search" sounding tripe with a whiny guitar soloing overtop everything.

What's next? Will some video engineer edit out all of Freddy's flamboyant concert outfits and digitally superimpose a bunch of tattoos and body piercing?

C'mon Atlantic (or whatever label was responsible for this travesty), give us some credit. Give FREDDY some credit. He liked it the way it was, and WE liked it the way it was.

Now pardon me whilst I throw this rubbish in the can, put on my leotard and listen to "Mr. Bad Guy" the way the artist intended it. Heavy on the gay. Party on.

The response I posted was, "If you were a "true" Freddie Mercury fan, you'd be able to spell his name correctly." If I tried to break it down any further in the comments, I'd probably get a reprimand from Amazon. Good thing I have a blog!

This person is a fucking dipshit. First, they're trying to push the "true" fan bullshit and acting all sanctimonious when they can't even spell Freddie's name. Second, I'm pretty sure it's common knowledge that the tracks on the album are remixes. Since it was released after Freddie died and all... And why the hell are they comparing remixes of Freddie's solo work to any bit of the Queen catalog?! And early Queen at that! Two different entities and different musical directions according to latest trends even before these remixes were made! So NO FUCKING SHIT THEY SOUND DIFFERENT! And the expectation that they should sound almost completely alike is laughable. Every member of Queen made significant contributions. Queen was never Freddie and his backing band! Hence why even Freddie did solo stuff, because why would he need to if he was already totally in charge of Queen? For fuck sake, he wasn't that arrogant!

"I don't like these remixes because they don't sound like the originals or exactly like anything Queen did in the 70's." ... I don't think I've ever wanted to hit another Queen fan with a phone book so badly...

Okay, rant over!

I'm not expecting to like all the tracks on The Freddie Mercury Album, but it will be really nice to cross it off my list of things I still need! And the Wembley box set seems like it would be exciting! So here's hoping!

What happens when I click #Freddie Mercury on Tumblr

I used to think I was a huge Freddie fan, but I think Tumblr has proven me wrong. Upon seeing these posts, my response has ranged from, "meh" to "Jesus fucking balls! This person really likes Freddie!"

This post was a bit disturbing...

Someone on this person's Facebook wall listed a song they didn't like by Justin Bieber titled 'Somebody To Love' because (at least call it something else so your[sic] not tarnishing the great name of Freddie Mercury and Queen) This person on Tumblr responded: WHAT IS THIS SOMEBODY TO LOVE BUSINESS. DID HE. DID HE REALLY. I WILL SKIN HIM. AND THEN POUR SALT ON WHATS[sic] LEFT OF HIS BODY. HOW DARE HE DISRESPECT FREDDIE. How DARE he!!

From Wikipedia:

"Somebody to Love" (Queen song)
"Somebody to Love" (Jefferson Airplane song)
"Somebody to Love" (Leighton Meester song)
"Somebody to Love" (Justin Bieber song)
Somebody to Love (Big Bang song)
Somebody to Love, a 1994 film starring Rosie Perez
"Somebody to Love" (That '70s Show episode), an episode of That '70s Show
"Somebody to Love" (30 Rock), an episode of 30 Rock
"Everybody Needs Somebody to Love", a song by Solomon Burke
"Somebody to Love", a bonus track on Nelly Furtado's album Loose

... Yeah. I don't get people sometimes... I'm not a whiz at copyright law, but I'm pretty sure song titles can't be copyrighted.

"A title cannot be protected under copyright law, and there are many songs with the same or very similar titles. Titles can occasionally be protected by trademark law when the title can be proven to be directly identified with a product or organization." - PD Info

But yeah. Tumblr is a pretty amazing thing.

Lady Gaga... and a small tangent brought on by Justin Bieber

I have to give credit where credit is due. I proudly own Lady Gaga's The Fame Monster, but I'm not really in a rush to get Born This Way (click that link to see why). Still, I have tons of respect for her music, particularly the bits where she's clearly influenced by Queen.

... And I rock out to Telephone more than I care to admit.

Anyway. Yeah. Problematic as some of the things she's said and done may be, I still have respect (this may be my privilege talking). The entertainment industry is vicious and the public is even more so. Fucking Christ. Justin Bieber can't even cover Bohemian Rhapsody without Brian getting pestered about it. I don't like Justin Bieber, but I choose to avoid him. I don't get all fucking dramatic over a fucking song cover (Robbie Williams notwithstanding) and wish he'd die a slow and painful death.

Bands these days have it easy

I caught the video for ET by Katy Perry, featuring Kanye West and it got me thinking. First of all, I don't have a totally solid opinion about Katy Perry, but I fucking hate Kanye (I realize this article I've linked to is from 2008, but still. Also, I don't condone the use of the word "douchebag"). Anyway, my brain immediately went to the video for Under Pressure because it was said at the time that Queen and David Bowie were too busy to make a "proper" video for the track. I'm not saying anything bad about Katy Perry and Kanye West having time to do shit, I'm just noticing that it's probably really bad form if they didn't make a video.

This also got me thinking about when I first heard Evanescence in high school and I was super pissed and resentful toward them because I have my own Bastard Queen Fan moments and I was a moody teenager at the time. It seemed like their debut album got tons of attention and promotion, and their first music video got attention and a big budget. Keep Yourself Alive had fucking stock footage! It felt like musicians (I'm going to keep it simple and not split hairs) of my generation seemed to get a pretty hefty leg-up right away (seriously, who the fuck decided to sign Ke$ha?!) whereas Queen had to bust their asses off for four years before they even started making money and becoming successful.

And you know, I wasn't there at the start of Queen's career, so maybe there was tireless promotion from the start, and maybe they were noticed right away. I'm probably talking out of my ass. Except those parts about Ke$ha and Kanye West. Although there's another point that I've always wanted to make, but I could never find the words, and then Cracked.com beat me to it. See #1 on this link which conveniently sums up my thoughts precisely. Only the writers of Cracked do a lot of research, where I just do a quick search on Google and have my head up my ass.

*headdesk*

I'm convinced that every other member of Queenzone is a troll.

A thread I've contributed to this week about casting for the Freddie Mercury biopic has this... uh, lovely exchange:

Person A said:
I don't like Baron Cohen, he's too tall to play Freddie.

I responded saying that that's like saying they don't want Jamie Foxx to play Ray Charles just because he's sighted. Person A responded thusly:

But you wouldn't cast Brad Pitt as Ray Charles (or as Freddie). It's a physique du role thing.


(See? It's like Freddie was in the middle of rocking out when suddenly...)

Just to be clear...


Ray Charles


Brad Pitt

... The fuck?? I mean... just... the fuck?? If you'll excuse me, I need to go find my faith in humanity. Funny how I lose it when I become active on Queenzone.

I wish I could smack people over the internet

Ah, Youtube! A haven for some of the dumbest shit you're ever likely to see or read. And that's just the comments!

I was looking around for cover versions of Queen songs when I stumbled on this version of Don't Stop Me Now by Salcuk Sami Cingi and one particular comment made me crack up:



 lol nice tried, NO EFFENCE though but WOo! stop there, you're not even close to freddy's voice! i understand its a fun fun movie (to put it in your words) but common the beginning was ok then it all goes wrong,

There is only ONE man who can sing this song right... thats FREDDY FOREVER! - raydendj

Yes, I posted their Youtube user name, but not so anyone can go and start a flame war. I just wanted to shame that person.

First of all, it isn't a perfect cover, but it's also not terrible. Cut the guy some damn slack. Have you ever tried singing this? It's not as easy as Freddie makes it seem! Secondly, 90% of people who post disparaging remarks on the internet are fucking morons (and 67% of all statistics are made up). And third, how the hell is anyone supposed to take that comment seriously when the person can't be fucking bothered to spell Freddie's name correctly?! The spelling errors also irk me, but I'm chalking that up to the possibility that English is not their first language.

And for fuck sake! I get it! Freddie's the greatest singer in the world and anyone who so much as sings Queen in the shower should be shot on sight! Does anyone stop to consider that people who do covers don't try to be the next Queen or Freddie (except Robbie Williams)?

But as I said, this version isn't perfect. Not in a "he sounds nothing like Freddie" way, but in a "I think he could have done a little better" way. For one, I think he should work on the "Mr Fahrenheit" notes. And then there's the changing of the lyric so he doesn't have to sing "super sonic man out of you." If your sexual orientation is threatened by a lyric, then maybe you shouldn't sing the song at all. In Los Lobos' cover of Sleeping On The Sidewalk (which is pretty terrible), the line, "And I was sleeping like a princess" was changed to "And I was sleeping like a king." It's understandable, since singing certain song lyrics can determine and change one's gender or sexual orientation... oh wait, NO IT CAN'T!

Reality TV's got nothin' on Freddie Mercury

I just finished reading Mercury And Me and my brain instantly started racing and wouldn't let up until about four in the morning.

When I first ventured onto Queenzone's forums, I remember hearing really horrible things about Jim's book and his overall character. Apparently, Jim Hutton was only after Freddie's money seeing as how Freddie left him 500,000GBP and "that still wasn't enough for him" because he wrote a book and made a bit of money. Then cut to years later where Phoebe Freestone, who also inherited 500,000GBP, also wrote a book. But not one of those Bastard Queen Fans attacked Phoebe and I have a theory about why that may be. It may not be very good seeing as how I thought of it in the early hours of the morning, but nonetheless...

Sorry to spoil it, but near the end of Jim's book, he claims that Mary Austin treated him, Phoebe and Joe Fanelli like shit after Freddie died. Phoebe ended his book at Freddie's funeral so there's nothing written from his perspective on this and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want to talk about it at this point. A lot of Bastard Queen Fans immediately come to Mary's defense at the suggestion that she wasn't a nice person because she inherited the bulk of Freddie's estate as well as Garden Lodge. Legally speaking, she was within her rights to ask the three men to leave, since Freddie hadn't put it in writing that they could stay at the house for as long as they wanted. But if what Jim's written is true, her way of going about it was in really poor taste. And the BQFs further argue that Mary knew Freddie first before he was famous, and so obviously the love between her and Freddie was greater than what was between Freddie and Jim.

I'm going to derail for a second. The love between Freddie and Mary was real. The love between Freddie and Jim was real. Both loves were different and unique to each person. Neither was greater, less than, valid or invalid. Just different. To take a quote from one of my favorite articles on polyamory: "Don't think of the contents of your heart the way you think of the contents of your wallet; it doesn't work like that."

[I'm not suggesting Freddie was poly, I'm just trying to illustrate a point!]

And for the record, Jim stated in his book that Freddie didn't see any point to leaving him Garden Lodge since Jim was HIV-positive and that shit was pretty much still a death sentence, so what good is leaving someone an estate when they could be dead within a number or months or years? And according to Phoebe, Freddie had wanted Garden Lodge to be a family home. And since Mary had one child(?) at that point...

Now, my theory! Phoebe didn't rip on Mary, so his book is cool. Jim Hutton did, so his book is a crime against everything good and decent in this world. Since Mary was Freddie's girlfriend for six years at the very beginning of Queen, she apparently must be a saint who could do absolutely no wrong or some such bullshit. And since Jim Hutton didn't get Garden Lodge and he wrote a book where he made Mary out to look like a dick, BQFs retaliate by calling him a dick. Which is a very mature thing to do.

Further, it could be argued that Mary's less than pleasant attitude toward Jim was due to the fact that Freddie and Jim had a romance that she could never have with Freddie. Freddie was gay, and while he did love her, they didn't have that connection that Freddie would have with Jim or any of Freddie's other relationships. Freddie never wore a ring for Mary like he did Jim Hutton, he never referred to her as his wife in the company of friends as he referred to Jim as his husband. I'm pretty sure if they were both alive and well, they'd be legally married. If he'd married Mary, it would pretty much be a lie. So for all we know, Mary could have treated all of Freddie's male lovers and gay friends with disdain. They were together for, what? Six years? It has to really suck that in all that time, the man she loved deeply wasn't and couldn't be truly happy with her. And then for the next 16 years she got to watch from the sidelines while he came into his own, partied a lot, fucked a bunch of guys, and eventually settled into a monogamous domestic life while she occasionally assumed the role as his beard so the press didn't flip out over him shacking up with a man.

I can see where that would be like a slap in the face. But at the same time...

Unless Mary ever comes across this and decides to put the record straight, I'm going to chalk it up to sour grapes.

But overall, yeah. The book was nothing like I'd been lead to believe. I actually liked it quite a bit. Lots of BQFs made it sound like Jim would write, "And now I'll tell you all, in unrelenting detail, the freaky shit Freddie and I did in bed! By the time you're done reading this, you'll never look at the following household appliances the same way ever again!"

Oh, and I'm pretty sure if Jim hadn't written his book, a ton of BQFs would flood the forums whining, "Why didn't Jim ever talk about his life with Freddie? That would have been so cool to have further insight!" If you don't want to know a damn thing about Freddie outside of his career, don't read anything that delves into his personal life. And if you do read it, remember that you chose to go down that road. If you can't handle that Freddie did cocaine, or that he had anonymous sexual encounters with men, or that his kitchen cabinets were colored Oxblood, then don't fucking read the damn books by Phoebe or Jim!

... *blink*

Typically when I have nothing to write, but feel an intense need to post here, I look to the Queenzone forums for inspiration (which isn't a big secret). I may have found something good.

Someone posted asking for the names of Kashmira Cooke's (Freddie's sister) children. I know she has a son and daughter (did you see what I did there with the song title subtly placed in the sentence? DAMN I'M GOOD!), not that it's common knowledge, but it isn't hard to find out either.

Anyway, someone commented that Kashmira's son looks like Freddie, and another person responded in kind:

OH MY GOSH!!!!! HOW OLD IS HE? WHERE IS HE? IS HE SINGLE?????????????????????????? I MUST HAVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I call dibs on him! EVERYONE ELSE BACK OFF!!!!!!!!

sorry.

Uhhh... right. Because that's a totally reasonable reaction. Because Freddie's whole family looks like Freddie.


The woman in front on the left is Kashmira, the older woman on the right is Freddie's mother Jer Bulsara. The guy cut off in the corner was Freddie's personal assistant (1979-1991) Peter "Phoebe" Freestone. I don't know who the rest of the people are. I'm assuming they're just Queen fans.

And that forum thread I'm referencing just goes on like that. Here's another quote from a different person:

I think he is 20-25 or something.. So that means, that if he has long hair.. HE MIGHT LOOK LIKE FREDDIE AT ART SCHOOL!!
OMG, I HAVE to kidnap this guy :D

... Moving on, then!

Right, there was a point to this wasn't there? Oh yeah! Freddie is awesome. Stalking his family is not. Even if Freddie is the coolest person who's ever lived.

If you listen to Queen long enough, you learn the inner workings of Freddie Mercury's mind!

Seriously. Some people seriously believe they know exactly how Freddie might feel about ___ if he was still alive.

Queen + Paul Rodgers, Pink's cover of Bohemian Rhapsody, Somebody To Love being performed on Glee, other Queen fans listening to music that's not Queen: FREDDIE WOULD HAVE HATED IT, SURELY!

Give me a fucking break.

It's one thing to hate some music because it just isn't your thing. It's fucking stupid to hate music and call it loyalty to your favorite band. The thing that massively sucks is that Freddie can't actually voice his opinion. Maybe he would have hated the collaboration with Paul Rodgers? Maybe he would have thought it was awesome? We will never know. And it shouldn't matter anyway.

It doesn't make me a lesser Queen fan to, say, eat meat when Brian May's a vegetarian. Or listen to Coldplay even though Roger Taylor has stated that he doesn't like their music.

It's like that infamous saying: If Freddie Mercury jumped off a bridge, are most Queen fans still obnoxious? The answer is yes.

I wish I was making this shit up

Alright, kids. I will share with you one of my ultimate pet-peeves... You know what? "Pet-peeve" doesn't quite cover it. Let's just say it irritates the fuck out of me.

Some fucking assholes stupidly-passionate Queen fans ripping on other music for no other reason than that musician or band is either nothing at all like Queen, or they're obviously influenced by them and that makes them THE DEVIL!

Muse, Mika, Lady Gaga, My Chemical Romance, Green Day - to name but a few, are apparently fuckers because THEY'RE NOT QUEEN OMGROFLBBQWTFNASABRUCEWILLIS!!!! And yet, HOLY FUCK THEY SOUND A LITTLE LIKE THEM SO THEY MUST DIE OMGLOLCAT!!111!!

Seriously, go to Queenzone and just skim through the forums. I'll wait. I'm not sure how accessible the site is, but I'll keep waiting.

Honestly if I had to pick between having a conversation with Fred Phelps and most other Queen fans, I'd pick Fred. Fred would at least very nicely call me a faggot and condemn me to eternal hellfire and an AIDS-related death.

Now if Mika pulled a stunt like Vanilla Ice did with Ice Ice Baby, then it would be okay to say he was ripping Queen off. But you guys? He isn't. And for that matter, Freddie was not the first singer to hit the high notes while playing piano. Brian's not the first guy in Earth's history to build an electric guitar. Roger's not the only drummer who wore sun glasses. John's not the only bass player who didn't give himself nearly enough credit, etc. I'm pretty sure there are Led Zeppelin fans bitching about Queen II sounding too similar to anything Robert Plant was doing. And even further - oh snap! All the members of Queen were from England! Just like The Beatles! How fucking dare there be any other band from England just like The Beatles?! And if we want to stretch it further: all these fuckers played piano before you did, Freddie! Fuck you for ripping off Johann Sebastian Bach!

I don't think they know how stupid that sounds. Why can't those fans chill the fuck out and be happy that Queen is influencing some really fucking awesome music? I like Lady Gaga, okay?! I'm not ashamed to admit that I bought The Fame Monster and listen to it almost as often as I listen to My Chemical Romance's The Black Parade.

And then there's the other side: Bands and musicians who sound absolutely nothing like Queen, and therefore they're terrible! Recent examples people bring up seem to be Miley Cyrus and The Jonas Brothers. I mean yeah, they're fucking awful - but not because they sound nothing like the music of 30+ years ago. Yes, it's cool to listen to classic rock, but I feel very sorry for anyone who's willing to close themselves off to all but one or two decades of music. Considering how long music itself has existed, to only stick to the 60's and 70's (and 80's and early 90's if you're into the later Queen stuff) is like only uploading two songs on a 160GB iPod (read: I own a 160GB iPod). Or insisting on keeping AOL 4.0 in this day and age.

I mean, if that's what they want to do, then so be it. But I don't think it's fair to call my Queen fandom into question ("YOU'RE NOT A TRUE QUEEN FAN! GO FUCK OFF AND DIE, YOU MEANINGLESS SACK OF SHIT!!" would be putting it nicely) just because I also listen to other stuff - whether they're incorporating their love of Queen in their music or not.