Queen I review

I've been sitting on this draft since 2013... Whoops!

Anyway! The Queen album has been described by the band as random picks of tracks thrown together in no particular order. Maybe it's because I'm so used to the track order, but I don't see it as a disorganized mess. I mean, I know most of the them were technically dated by the time the album got released, but I think they're a great demonstration that Queen does not stick to a particular sound or formula. The entire album doesn't sound like one continuous noise, to paraphrase Roger. Yes, there are signature sounds throughout their entire catalog, but I look at Queen as sort of making up for lost time, since so many record companies rejected them at the time.

According to Freddie on Live At The Rainbow '74, Brian wrote Keep Yourself Alive as a teenager (he specifically said, "young boy," which is amusing because they were all in their early-mid twenties at the time). It's unusual in that it doesn't have that "shitty poetry" feel that a lot of teenaged writing tends to have on a universal level. When I had just started seriously getting into Queen, my uncle would constantly say that this track is one of the most metal songs he's ever heard. That's kind of weird, as he's very much into all sorts of metal bands that definitely have a consistently heavier sound (Megadeth, and the like). But he would also later introduce me to Simon & Garfunkel and No Doubt. That throw-away line is just to ensure readers that my uncle's tastes in music are hardly strictly light or conservative. Keep Yourself Alive doesn't rank especially high as a heavy track for me, but the guitar riff is probably one of Brian's catchiest and infectious. Also, this song is super fun to sing, and I often turn to the Live Killers version when I really want to pretend I'm on stage rocking out.

I fucking love Doing Alright! The whole sound of it is perfection to me. Brian and Roger would later say that they weren't happy with the drums being on the quieter end, but I think it works especially well on this track (it did not, however, work so well on Innuendo, in my opinion. Who made that decision, and why wasn't it vetoed?!). I find myself torn on this version and the one on At The BBC, even if Roger's voice is out of place (Nice! But out of place).

I think Great King Rat is the first track where Freddie seems to be battling it out with his religious upbringing. I'm not at all an expert in Zoroastrianism, nor any sort of religious scholar, but I do know that Zoroastrianism considers homosexuality "unclean." I firmly believe that Freddie's always known that he was gay (yes, even though he has slept with women. He identified as gay, so let's respect that). And considering queer rights were nowhere near where they are today (still a TON of work to do!), it makes all the sense in the world to me that he didn't always have the "fuck you, I am who I am" attitude he'd adopted later. I think the drum sound works on this track as well, and compliment Freddie's vocals (maybe my favorite on this album). This is also one of many great reminders of Freddie's songwriting ability. I didn't love the Biblical references when I first heard it as a kid, but have since come to appreciate them, but I further sincerely appreciate that he was able to move past the messages that he got in his life that said that he was bad for being gay.

The intricate layers in My Fairy King defy words for me. All I can coherently say is that I love this song.

The intro to Liar is one of my favorites of all time! It's a real pity that the drum mix turned out so quiet, because it was clear that this whole song's loud parts are supposed to be LOUD. I love hearing the Rainbow '74 version (Sheer Heart Attack tour) and the audience demanding this, probably assuming that this was Queen's absolute peak of perfection. Oh, how the world would learn...

I love The Night Comes Down, and would really love to seriously ask Brian what it was about, because sometimes not knowing keeps me up at all hours!

Modern Times Rock 'n' Roll is such a great song, and it makes me wish I could track down this one person on the old forums who used to be really pissed about Freddie not singing lead on some of Brian and Roger's songs, and point this track to him. I'm really sorry, but Freddie's voice was not made for this song. I get why he sang it live, but I very much prefer Roger's voice on this.

Like The Night Comes Down, I'd love to pick Brian's brain about Son & Daughter, but this time because I feel like it falls devastatingly short. The riff is catchy, guitar effects are amazing, the lyrics are really fun and raw, and then it feels like it loses its momentum just as the words start to REALLY get interesting! I think John's bass playing really shines here, as well.

My friend Tony (hi, Tony!) really pushed for this review because Jesus is one of his favorite tracks. It makes sense since he's Ordained and all (:-P), but it's not one of my favorites. I don't hate it, but I can't help but wonder how this song would pan out if Queen had been in a good recording contract and had been able to record during reasonable hours at the time? Maybe this was a demo they'd added at the last second as an album filler? Maybe I'm just being a jerk about it?

My favorite thing about the mini sample of Seven Seas Of Rhye is that people at the time probably thought it was an accurate taste of things to come on Queen II, but then IT TURNS OUT QUEEN II IS A BILLION TIMES BETTER THAN ANYONE COULD HAVE ANTICIPATED (but I'm super biased, as that's my favorite album)!

Freddie Mercury Album review - with a bonus public shaming

Those of you who read this may recall this post about a... really interesting Amazon review of The Freddie Mercury Album. I've decided to break it down further because - well, it's such a golden opportunity!

If you're a Queen fan and you'd like to sample some of Freddy's solo work, then this might be a good buy. But if you're a true Freddy fan, then you'll be appalled at how they butchered his compositions in the re-mixing room.

I'm not going to attack this person's personal tastes just because they didn't like the album. That part's irrelevant. But as I all-too-often have to point out, they're claiming to be a "true" Freddie fan while misspelling his name. And once you fuck that up, you're in no position to judge musical arrangements on anything attached to Queen or Freddie. And you know what? A lot of people think they know what constitutes a "true" fan, but they don't. Neither do I, neither do you. Like many identities and communities in life, there is no One Right Way, and the sooner we collectively get that through our heads, the sooner we can all sleep better at night.

As far as how some of the songs on this album are arranged, I don't think they're that bad. The only one I don't like is for Time, and that's because the music doesn't make sense up against Freddie's vocals in some places, and the overall arrangement sounds boring.

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In a weak attempt to bridge the gap between Queen's heavy rock sound and Freddy's gay style (I say "gay" meaning "happy"), the mixing engineers have slaughtered these pieces.

There was zero attempt to bridge the gap between Queen's catalog and Freddie's - the Made In Heaven album being an exception. And let's be real - Mr Bad Guy was intended to sound like something you'd hear in a gay club in the 80's, so it's more than a little insulting that they're qualifying their use of "gay" up there. It's okay to say it had a gay sound because IT DID, and this person clearly cannot see that that was a conscious decision. Also, if early 1990s dance remixes don't scream, "gay" to this person, I cannot help them. They are beyond help.

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If I want to hear something heavy, I'll pop in "Night at the Opera". I don't need some presumptuous mixing engineer adding heavy reverb on the drums, stupid house-techno beats and distorted guitars.

... So go pop in A Night At The Opera, then..? Since you clearly want Queen's sound and not remixes of Freddie's solo stuff? And that's not the correct use for "presumptuous".

*ETA: Also, comparing any of the band's solo projects to any of their Queen albums is like comparing apples and bobsleds. Queen's music and albums are successful in being variant while also still having an overall signature sound (as in, you know damn well it's a Queen album even though it doesn't sound precisely like every other Queen album), and it's presumptuous to think that the sound Queen went for in 1975 should be expected - even on a subconscious level - to show up in a dance-oriented solo album in 1985, let alone a 1992 remix of a track from 1985. Seriously, what the hell is this person's problem??!!*

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The worst is the absolute murder of the song "Mr. Bad Guy", originally a fully orchestrated piece, now reduced to some stupid "star search" sounding tripe with a whiny guitar soloing overtop everything. ... What's next? Will some video engineer edit out all of Freddy's flamboyant concert outfits and digitally superimpose a bunch of tattoos and body piercing?

Yes. That's exactly what they'll do. The Mr Bad Guy remix forever changed the sound and influence of death metal. It won several awards and is widely considered among metal enthusiasts to be the be all-end all of heavy metal. Every release of every Queen and Freddie album since 1992 has Freddie on the cover rocking a mohawk and enough facial piercings and tattoos to make him virtually unrecognizable. This is sarcasm. Because I get sarcastic when people are being stupid on the internet.

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C'mon Atlantic (or whatever label was responsible for this travesty), give us some credit. Give FREDDY some credit. He liked it the way it was, and WE liked it the way it was.

Actually, from what I've seen in The Great Pretender documentary, Freddie wasn't as invested in Mr Bad Guy as, say, Barcelona or any Queen album. He never expected it to be a massive commercial success, and when it wasn't, he pretty much just shrugged his shoulders and went on to the next project. Also, this person should remember that they're only speaking for themselves and not anyone else. I don't doubt there are others who share this person's views, but this person doesn't represent the entire Freddie fan base, and as a Freddie fan, I'm tempted to find them and follow them around with a sign, "I'm not with them"...

--

Now pardon me whilst I throw this rubbish in the can, put on my leotard and listen to "Mr. Bad Guy" the way the artist intended it. Heavy on the gay. Party on.

Again, I cannot help this person with their inability to understand the evolution of gay club music since 1985 and how some of these remixes fall into that category. It's okay to not like this album, but it's really not okay to say that the dance remixes aren't gay when, honey, they are. Super gay.

The Miracle review

After some poking and prodding by a couple friends of mine, I'm finally getting around to reviewing their album requests. I'm picking The Miracle first because I listened to it more recently, and my thoughts on it are a little more organized.

I really like this album, but I also feel ambivalent about it. On one hand, it has some really great tracks, but it also doesn't hold up as well as other Queen albums, in my mind. This could very well be due to Brian and Roger's solo projects going on at the time, and Freddie having put so much energy into Barcelona the year before (Phoebe's book says that Barcelona took a really significant toll on Freddie's declining health). This is all purely speculation, of course, but it sounds better than my other speculation, "we just said 'fuck it' and rushed through the entire album."

For several years, I'd skip over Party and Khashoggi's Ship when listening. They didn't add anything particularly special for me for years, and I considered them fillers keeping me from getting to the better stuff. But I'm starting to listen to them more, and I'm able to appreciate Brian's guitar work on them. They're still not my favorites, but as far as 'throw-away' tracks go, they're two of the better ones.

The Miracle is a really spectacular track. Not just because of the awesome video - that's just icing on the cake for me. But I love the layers and detail of it. And the message in it is optimistic without being hokey. Around News Of The World, as many of us can tell, the band eased up on the subtle intricacies, and this is sort of going back to that. Although it's a little sad that it's a drum machine and not Roger. I wonder if Freddie had done a demo, and he and Roger agreed that it didn't warrant a do-over on an actual kit?

While this,Innuendo, and Made In Heaven, in a few cases, had all tracks credited to Queen, rather than an individual member, Brian and Roger aren't shy about who wrote what later track. Also, in many cases it's easy to determine the writer based on their writing style (ex: Usually, if the chorus is sung first by only the lead vocalist, and then backing vocals come up when the chorus repeats [Teo Torriate, I Want It All, Save Me, The Show Must Go On etc.], it's a Brian track). I only know for sure that Freddie wrote The Miracle, though, because Brian said so in Days Of Our Lives.

I love both the album and single version of I Want It All, which rarely ever happens (another example being Hammer To Fall). It's very structurally well done and is really fucking hard to play on Rock Band!

Instrumentally, I think my most favorite part is the acoustic guitar. Don't ask me why, because I have no idea.

Depending on my mood, my opinion of The Invisible Man shifts from "This is awesome!" to "Meh." Being three years old in Middle America at the time of The Miracle's release, I didn't have the opportunity to appreciate it at the time, and I think that makes a difference. However, the bass line will always be badass.

The frustrating thing about Breakthru is that the intro (originally intended to be its own thing until someone decided that it would sound great in this super catchy thing Roger was writing) is deceptively difficult to sing along to! Apart from that, there is nothing I dislike about the track. Hell, I don't even mind that science got in the way of making The Miracle Express look like it was busting through a brick wall!

I'm probably going to get shit for this from my counterpart, but I have the same overall mood shift with Rain Must Fall as with The Invisible Man. I'm trying to think of what in particular makes me fall out of like with it sometimes, but I don't know if I can articulate it to myself, much less to anyone reading. Maybe it's the lyrics?

Brian stated on the commentary for Greatest Video Hits 2 that Scandal would wind up being relevant to every member of the band at different points for different reasons. It's really funny how that can happen, isn't it? These days, tabloids and "news" sources have more tools, methods, and outlets to skew and intentionally defame famous people, so if this song were written today, Brian would probably be dismissed as "whiny" before the public goes back to putting celebrities on trial for getting divorced, or going to rehab or whatever. Because these sorts of things are difficult enough for "regular" people, they have to be broadcast nation/worldwide if you're in the public eye! Ask me how I really feel!

*Ahem!* But anyway! It's disappointing that this track didn't at least musically make a significant dent. And as much as I love Freddie's look in the video, the concept and direction are both pretty sloppy. I don't think it could have been helped, but it is nonetheless distracting.

I always giggle a bit over My Baby Does Me. I mean, it couldn't have been more "late 80's/early 90's porn-y" if it tried! I keep picturing big hair and a camera panning to a tacky fireplace that then fades to stock footage of sexual metaphors. Because it would probably really only be appropriate for some softcore thing you can only catch at 02:00 in the morning on a premium cable channel.

(Am I going to Hell for that? Probably!)

Was It All Worth It is bittersweet for me. It's triumphant, but sounds kind of 'final'. Like a precursor to The Show Must Go On. I'm not sure if this was intentional, or if that's something that was kicking around for a bit anyway (Brian had gotten the idea for I Want It All in 1986). I don't want to know anyone who doesn't like this song. I know that's imposing my opinion on people, but the thought of someone saying it's terrible is criminal to me.

On the 1991 CD releases, Hang On In There and Chinese Torture aren't listed as B-sides. I thought they'd been included on the album itself from the beginning, but my 2011 CDs say otherwise. I do love them both, though. The ending of Hang On In There seems like it could go on forever, kind of like Spread Your Wings, and I'd be pretty okay with that. And Chinese Torture doesn't sound too similar to Brighton Rock (which I think had come from the Smile track, Blag). So both of them are pretty big wins in my book!

The Cosmos Rocks, a proper review

I've covered some of my thoughts on The Cosmos Rocks earlier, but in keeping with what's hopefully a better format, I'm re-doing my review.

My opinion on this album has shifted a lot. I think my initial excitement had to do with how excellent Return Of The Champions was for me. Seriously, Brian, Roger, and Paul Rodgers work really well together. I don't give a shit what any Bastard Queen Fan says... not just about this subject, but about anything in general.

So based on that track alone, I had really high hopes and expectations for The Cosmos Rocks. The fact that Brian and Roger are notorious perfectionists is enough for me to have high expectations, really. I wanted a good album. It didn't have to be A Night At The Opera-good, but it had to be decent, y'know? And by 2008, Brian, Roger, and Paul should have been able to cut an amazing album in their sleep.

I will say it again and again and again: The intro to Cosmos Rockin', which I imagine was supposed to be a nod to One Vision's intro, with the slow voice and all, was fucking stupid. Specifically, what that voice said was stupid. I cannot, for the life of me, listen to that intro without cringing. The rest of the song holds up okay, though. It's got a good, catchy riff, and the lyrics aren't too terrible. But then, like any and every Queen album, most of the lyrical content is never meant to be anything deeper than what we hear - obvious exception being Bohemian Rhapsody (I don't care what the actual meaning is, but there's definitely something major underneath the surface). But even something like Sleeping On The Sidewalk can resonate so profoundly for someone for any given reason. But the lyrics for Cosmos Rockin' are definitely disposable, as Freddie would say. There's not much thought to them, which would be fine if this was the case on just this song. But sadly...

Not to sound cliche`, but Time To Shine was a nice breath of fresh air. Maybe because it sounds like it could have been on Innuendo. But it's structurally and lyrically good. There's no part of it that I dislike, which is always a plus. Not much more to say, really.

Still Burnin' is mostly great. The chorus kind of reminds me of Tear It Up, in that it's just random words thrown together, but it works somehow. My only criticism is the stomp-stomp-clap from We Will Rock You thrown in at the 2:40 mark because it doesn't sound like a nod, but more like insecurity. It was like Brian didn't trust the track to hold up on its own, and dug up a hit that would be a complimentary overlap in the hopes that fans would dig it. I think if I had any say in it, I'd throw in a really kickass guitar solo, and put underneath that part of the solo and/or the chorus from We Will Rock You just above the background. To me, that would make more sense. But maybe there's a reason I'm not a great songwriter.

I like the first half of Small. The lyrics are excellent, and the simple acoustic is terrific. I think, honestly, it could have ended at the 2:43 mark. The guitar solo that comes in there seems a bit lazy, and there doesn't seem to be a reason to keep the song going after that.

Warboys is flawless. Fucking. Flawless.

I like We Believe because with Freddie, Queen wasn't all that political with their music. And unlike most celebrities, Roger and Brian aren't disingenuous. When they say something like, "We have to make the world better and quit being assholes to each other for no reason," they step up and do what they're able. And write songs after the fact to further promote their principles. It's the antithesis of the slactivism you see on Facebook!

I have a hard time getting into the lyrics in Call Me. Around the time he was collaborating with Queen, Paul's net worth was around $14 million, and he's singing about his house "crumbling down." I don't know if he's frugal or what, but I have a similar problem with the members of Green Day continuing to write songs about being poor, desperate teenagers stuck in the boonies well after American Idiot brought them tons of money (Billie Joe Armstrong is supposedly worth $55 million). This is totally my issue. I get that Call Me is supposed to be a throwback to the music of these guys' younger years, but I still can't enjoy it for what it is, which is a shame.

Voodoo is not really my taste, but it's an alright track. Not much to say beyond that.

When I first heard Some Things That Glitter, it made me happy that Brian finished his demo from 1986. And it was worth the wait! But I think I prefer Kerry Ellis' version.

My first taste of The Cosmos Rocks was this clip of C-lebrity on Al Murray's Happy Hour. The riff is catchy, the lyrics are snarky toward celebrities who are famous for being famous (and presumably toward artists who spell shit weird), and I adore it. Tip: If you think you're hot shit because you're an autotune-dependent amalgam of Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, Lady Ga Ga, Ke$ha, etc., this song is talking about you. And that's not a good thing. Before record producers were scouting - ahem - talent on Youtube, musicians put in a little thing called "effort", which was concentrated into their sound, and if they were good enough, their musical talent was enough to make them attractive and fashionable. There are people to this day who give zero fucks about how ugly Mick Jagger is. The fact that he's the guy that sings It's Only Rock 'N' Roll and struts on stage like a fucking chicken gives him ALL the sex appeal. And it's traced back to the music, so there's a nice cycle happening. But we don't have that anymore. Now we've got Justin fucking Bieber. It should be noted that it's not just that I dislike his music, his celebrity status has made him into a spoiled brat and allowed him to reach levels of "shitty person" no common person can hope to achieve or have publicly recognized.

.... But I digress.

The chorus of Through The Night sounds disjointed from the rest of the song. Or maybe "pasted in" would be a more accurate description? Even at 4:54, the track seems like an unfinished idea, and Paul sounds, to me, like he doesn't give a shit about singing this.

I like Say It's Not True for a variety of reasons, the first being similar to why I like We Believe. Second, because it not only addresses the devastation that HIV/AIDS brings to some of the more vulnerable parts of countries in Africa, it calls attention that the medicines readily available are too expensive in those countries. And the third reason is it reminds me of the collaborative efforts on Let Me Live.

... I don't know what the fuck is going on in Surf's Up... School's Out! Like, no idea. And, going on a similar train of thought as with Call Me, these guys are all in their 60s and they're singing about school being done for the year. I mean, what the fuck? Roger probably still has school-aged children, but surely his house is big enough that he's not feeling crowded by their presence in the summer months? And that obnoxious "YEEEAAAAAHH!" just makes me want to weep.

I've been trying to write this all afternoon, and I had to take a break for a couple hours to collect my thoughts. I think the main problem with this entire album is that nobody's pushing anybody to do better. The main reason every Queen album is awesome (some less so than others, but still) is that each member of the band demanded the rest of their band mates bring their absolute best to the table. I don't follow Paul Rodgers' career, but I can imagine he didn't get to this point by not taking his music seriously. That's not to say that Brian and Roger can't stand on their own, but when they work together, they have a responsibility to themselves and their devoted fans to deliver something damn good. Like, if The Cosmos Rocks was something just for the three of them, fine. But it was promoted as being a big deal, and therefore Brian and Roger, using the Queen name, had an obligation to put out something damn good. And while this wasn't the worst thing to ever happen to music, this is a pretty big let-down.

Reviewing my collection: format change

A while ago, I used to post about some of my stuff in no particular order because I didn't have anything better to post. But I miss posting here and I think I'm going to start giving each piece its own post.

I've covered it a bit before, but I want to start with Hot Space.

Let's go!

Did you see what I did there? Did the song Dancer just pop into your head?

I'm not sure where you stand, but I do love this album. The first time I heard any bits of it that wasn't Under Pressure was on Magic Years volume 2. There was a clip of Las Palabras De Amor and Staying Power from their Milton Keynes show. Imagine my surprise when I learned the recorded version of Staying Power wasn't that fast-paced or heavy!

But you know what? The recorded version is cool, too. I have a preference for the live version, but I also have a preference for Freddie's voice when his vocal cords aren't almost completely obliterated, so...

(Freddie's voice still rocked at that performance, though)

I like how Brian and Roger kept in with the album's format while still doing what they were comfortable with. i.e. the guitar solo in Dancer, Action This Day as a whole, etc. What annoys me is everyone puts the blame on Freddie for the synthesizers, but if I remember correctly, Roger introduced them to Freddie while they were recording The Game. Granted, around the time Queen were recording Hot Space, it was arguably the peak of Freddie's clubbing days (and Paul Prenter, Freddie's former personal assistant) that pushed for a dance-oriented album.

But just think of the consequences of Freddie not getting his way on this project or any other: Queen would probably just keep making the same sound, tunneling their way into obscurity, being the Nickelback of the 1970s.

Is this really what you want for the greatest band in the world???

So Hot Space is looking pretty damn good to you former nay-sayers right now, isn't it? Moving on!

I like Back Chat because it demonstrates John's talent. Aside from bass, he also plays rhythm guitar, synths, and electric piano. I guess he and Brian had an argument over whether there was going to be a guitar solo in there. Clearly Brian won because there it is.

The video is "meh" for me. As is the live version. I think it's too boring for the stage.

There was a long, long time where I couldn't listen to Body Language or watch the video. Same thing with Get Down, Make Love on News Of The World. That's probably in large part due to the fact that I don't have sexual crushes on any members of Queen. Although a disproportionate number of my pictures of Freddie in the 1970's have him wearing leather, so maybe that says more about me than I'm willing to acknowledge...

But the track is good. The bass line is catchy and synthetic, and the video is ridiculously tame by today's standards. And a bit weird. What was that cake all about???

I'm going to skip a few tracks because some of them will probably derail this whole post. I may add them later.

Cool Cat is my favorite track on here. John plays every instrument on here and it's really brilliant. I probably sing along to this more than the others, even if I can't sing falsetto.

Under Pressure is an awesome song. The end.

Moral of the story: Nickelback sucks.